THE BOSS’S WIFE

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Our almighty boss was feared more than he was respected. He was the branch manager of the organization I worked for and he called the shots at the work place. He was capable of unleashing terror in the office, whenever things were not going on well. We all tried to be in his good books, but the fellow was as stubborn as a mule and was also very hard to please. We feared him because a word from him could send you packing.

He had a way of finding fault in everything we did, from the way we dressed to the way we smelled. One minute he would be smiling at you, the next minute you would find yourself begging for mercy in his office. Our only consolation was that this man was not God; otherwise, I do not know what would have become of us.

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One blessed morning the boss came into the office with a swollen face and black eye. The bruises on his face could have been mistaken to have been caused by a hungry leopard. He claimed that he had been attacked by robbers. We went into his office one after the other, assuring our boss that we were very sorry about what had happened, although most of us were shedding crocodile tears. But something was amiss, the fact that our boss neither reported the matter to the police nor went to the hospital. We let the matter rest at that, despite the many questions lingering on our minds and moved on with our lives.

If you thought that those were the last injuries we saw in our boss, then you are terribly wrong. He came again to the office with a dislocated arm and a swollen face. You would have thought that he had been assaulted by an Olympic boxing champion. He again claimed that he had been robbed. We patiently waited for him to report the matter to the police but it was all in vain, but at least we were relieved when he visited the hospital to have his arm straightened. I could not understand why our boss, who always breathed fire in the office, could be so lenient on violent robbers.

Another cloudy morning he was late for work. He had not informed any of us that he would be late or absent from work, not that we cared anyway. It was only that some of his business partners had arrived and they wanted to see him. We tried reaching him on the phone without success. Two of us were dispatched to go and look for him. I promptly agreed to go because it would at least keep me off the pressures of the office for some time.

Just before his house came into view, we heard some noises, of someone groaning in pain. Finally, the house was visible and from a distance, we saw our almighty boss, being disciplined by his wife. The wife was armed with all manner of crude weapons and she looked like she wanted to dispatch him to the next world. Since we were men and we did not want to hurt his ego, we could not let him see us, so we retreated back to the office and arranged for another appointment with his partners, though we could not give them a satisfactory reason why they could not see him that day.

The boss later arrived at the office, with a swollen face. He confidently blamed the robbers again for the umpteenth time. We could not betray him, since we could not risk losing our pay slips. In fact we tried to be as sympathetic as possible.

The next Monday morning, the boss arrived at the office, very early, which was unusual of him, especially after a weekend, full of mischief and teenage like adventures. He looked happy with himself. He was also in a good state of health, since his face was not swollen.

Everyone found something to keep them busy and the office environment was relatively calm and peaceful, but we did not anticipate the storm that was to follow. The door to the reception area was pushed violently and in came her highness the wife of the boss, breathing fire.

The woman was huge and muscular. She looked like she could swallow two goats and still ask for more. She went straight to our boss’s office and I definitely knew that she was not there for any honeymoon like business. She descended on the boss with slaps, blows and kicks, while demanding an explanation, as to why her husband – the boss – did not spend the weekend at his matrimonial home. She was one hell of a fighter and to say the least, our boss was taught a good lesson on how to behave in a war zone. It took the intervention of two guards and three other men to free him from her. Even after being freed, the boss kept on screaming and begging us not to let her go. “Please, don’t let her kill me.” He screamed. We then knew why his face was always swollen. There was a more senior and mightier boss than him at home.