Thursday, 26 January 2017




Boys will always be boys right? So, if you are a male between 41 years and infinity, you are a grand old boy. Those between 18 and 40 years are old boys while any male below 18 years is the real boy. Any objections? No? Good! Very good. We are now heading somewhere.

Now to the big question, have you set your eyes on the boy child lately? For those of you who live and eat in Kenya, have you seen the boy child since that day when Dr. Fred Matiang'i, the cabinet secretary for education unceremoniously released the K.C.S.E results? For those folks who normally read this blog from the USA, Greece, Ukraine, China, Philippines, Germany, Belgium, Egypt among others (I wish I could mention all of you), KCSE means Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education.

The results in question seemed to suggest that the boy child has an inferior and partially dysfunctional brain compared to the girl child. It is believed that from the available statistics, the boy child failed beyond salvage, hence resulting in collective embarrassment of the grand old boy child, the old boy child and the real boy child. 

Since the onslaught of that Tsunami brought about by those results, the boy child has started walking around with stooping shoulders, not because of new evolutionary changes, but social stigma (who wants to associate with a dysfunctional brain?). Even his neck is too shy to support his head, hence the head is always leaning forward out of shame and feelings of worthlessness, his eyes constantly looking at his toes. For the boy child, confidence is no longer his acquaintance. Creativity seems to have deserted him, ever since the girl child became empowered. The boy child now drowns his sorrows in illicit brew while others can be seen occasionally sucking at some unfortunate cigarettes or chewing Khat.

The change in the boy child's fortunes is also partly attributed to the fact that women and girls have taken over the world of success and are now ruling it with  iron fists. Girls and women are now busy discussing about getting those degrees and proceeding for masters and PhD's. They are also eager to conquer the corporate world.

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Several Organizations and even Television programmes have been started to cushion the girl child against the harsh realities of life. I have heard of programmes such as 'Daughters of Zion', meant to empower the girl child, but I am yet to hear of a program called Sons of Zion. Several financial institutions have also been set up to give affordable loans to the girl child.

What about the boy child? Nothing to write home about. Betting is his new hobby as he tries to look for short cuts in life, because the world is becoming too harsh. The old boy child has been reduced to a sperm donor, since in the event of a divorce, the children do not even legally belong to him. The choice is left to the children, to deny or accept their father, once they turn 18, so the mother has 18 years to engineer the brains of the children against their father.

The grand old boy, alias Sponsor is not doing any better. Young girls are now chasing him about. Girls young enough to be his daughters. They want to rob him of his hard earned cash. They do not have to use force or violence to achieve that. All they need to do is praise his pot belly, his bald head or his grey hair, and the gates of generosity will be opened in his heart.

"Your grey hair is the greatest gem of wisdom." says the girl child, and the grand old boy will smile.

"Your bald head is the only golden beauty that nature gave to the world." says the girl child and the grand old boy will giggle.

"Your protruding beer belly is the benchmark and epitome of masculinity" spits the girl child and the grand old boy will laugh until his molars see the light.

In the quest to find an easy way out of poverty, the real boy child is now obsessed with moneyed older women who go by sweetened names like sugar moms, the same women who have been neglected by the grand old boy. The sugar mom will feed and clothe him, in exchange for intimacy. This arrangement will go on until a fresh and stronger replacement is found.

It is now common knowledge that the boy child is likely to be a member of 'Team Fisi' (Team Hyena), an association of perverted boys, who come together with a common aim of salivating and oggling at every girl or woman they come across, especially those with curves at the right places, most preferably on the backside.

In the midst of all these unfortunate circumstances, the  logical conclusion here is that even as ladies are encouraged to unleash their potentials and even as the law bends over backwards to give the female child the upper hand, the boy child should also be encouraged to move along rather than being left behind to be mauled by the harsh realities of life.


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