Tuesday, 7 March 2017

LOVE BREWED IN COLLEGE

EDWIN KIPTANUI CHIRCHIR edchirchir@yahoo.com edchirchir85@gmail.com

Photo credit: Pixabay

When it comes to love, no one can express it better than a college student. I am particularly interested in the love affairs brewed behind Poa Place in Eldoret, just next to the railway line. A place where a college man will strive hard to explain to the wide eyed, hard to please college lady, how he is going to bring the moon and the stars to her door step.

Lots of love affairs sprout  here, especially among students from various colleges around. The affairs grow rapidly, competing with the green water hyacinth growing on some contaminated stream running through the SOS school, thanks to a burst sewer line.

The sewer line has been blocked for as long as I can remember. The municipal sewage line maintenance guys have even given up on it, after trying and failing in unblocking it for too long.

 During morning hours, the place is generally calm and free from commotion, occupied only by cattle herders. Once in a while you will find sweaty railway workers carrying out some repairs or the herders trying to pull out some unfortunate cow stuck in the mud, by the stream. It is only later  in the day that you will notice signs of love affairs.

The mess created by the leakage from the sewer, creates some unsightly mess and stench, but out of the stench emanates some deep and intimate relationships among the young people (the fact that I can use the word 'young') means I am growing old, hence should be appointed village elder as soon as possible.

The intimacy and closeness displayed can make anyone green with envy,especially how the male and female students hold one another under each others armpits in turns, but mostly it is the ladies who are being held under the men's armpits, which makes it important for any self respecting man to clean his armpits thoroughly every morning, not so?

In fact married couples whose relationships are on their knees, should pay this place a visit instead of calling the local radio stations to iron out their marital issues, every morning.

Wife says, "Hello, is that XYZ FM?"

Host replies, "Yes this is XYZ FM, how can we help you?"

Wife: My husband no longer hugs me in the house.

Host: That means he has a new catch, are you light skinned?

Wife: No, I am a black beauty.

Host:  Ha! ha! ha! haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! your husband has found a new light skinned catch. Do you sleep together? Does he play with 'Migingo? Huh!'

Wife: No

Host: When was the last time he played with migingo?

Wife: Last year

Host: Ha! ha! ha! ha! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!(Holds stomach) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! he! he! he! he! heeeeeeee! We shall tell our listeners to advice you he! he! he! he! heeeeeeeeeeee! he! he!

Instead of all these, a visit to that place behind Poa place might heal some wounds in your married lives. It can remind you how to love again. Yes ladies, just visit any area with students who are in love. Make sure you tag your husband along.

It is also a place where you can visit, to rethink your issues about life, especially the troublesome issues like when your teenage daughter falls in love with a man thrice her age or your teenage son marries his high school teacher. The smell may not be pleasant, but just observing the students in love may wipe away your worries.

I once met a woman crying there, although I suspect the reason for the tears, was not out of love gone sour. Thankfully, a lady passing by intervened, since I did not know what to do. I have never learnt the art of handling a weeping lady. If there is a college somewhere, teaching about how to sooth a crying lady, please let me know.

My only exception about the place behind Poa place is a guy who once in a while, parks a range rover there, next to the stinking sewer. That is so disrespectful to the vehicle. I consider the Range Rover to be a brand, too great to park near a stinking sewer. I do not really know what that guy does there. Could it be a driver trying to gain love mileage , using his boss's top of the range car? I could be right on this one, since once in a while, you find the vehicle making some odd dance moves, as if dancing to Diamond's song, Salome.

I can imagine it is some smooth talking driver who has managed to capture the heart of some college student, whom he has promised to find a job and even marry as soon as she completes her studies, and now it is all about:

'Inama Kidogo, shika magoti
Nimesimama kama ngotigoti
Mtoto jojo, sio roboti
Chumbani bingili bingili sambasoti

Tukimbizane nini Salome wangu?
Hiyo michezo ya jogoo
Mbona watizama chini Salome wangu, Ukimuona jongoo.................................................................

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