Friday, 21 July 2017

HOW WOMEN FIGHT!

EDWIN KIPTANUI CHIRCHIR edchirchir@yahoo.com edchirchir85@gmail.com






PHOTO CREDIT: PIXABAY







Shallyn and Sherry have been fighting for the past thirty minutes.

Thanks to that fight, they are now both half naked, having torn each others clothes. The fight has also resulted in broken finger nails and faces which look like they have been modified by a fierce leopard, thanks to various episodes of scratching each other's faces.

The worst part is that they are mainly fighting using their mouths, more than their hands. That has now resulted into several pairs of ears, hearing nasty or dirty words, which are not worthy of being typed here. They have called one another names of the various parts of their anatomies. We now know that Shallyn is a serial 'Husband snatcher' who cannot carry a pregnancy due to barrenness, while Sherry has become a highly valued customer in some dingy clinic where abortions are performed. We also know that they are fighting because Shallyn stole Sherry's boyfriend, who happens to be some other lady's husband.

The place is crowded by both men and women who are watching the unfolding spectacle. Thankfully, most children are in school. None of the many people in the crowd are willing to intervene in this situation, reason? Anyone who intervenes becomes the recipient of nasty words from the duo. In fact they are so united when it comes to abusing anyone who dares to intervene in the fight.

A few minutes ago, two guys, Baba Deno and Baba Brenda, tried to separate them and thanks to their helpfulness, we now know that Baba Deno has been dating both Shallyn and Sherry and that they are actually fighting over him. So, now he has been promoted to be the 'bull' of the estate. The idea that Baba Deno was an errant husband was stated before the crowd and Mama Deno was in the crowd, so it is obvious that things will never be the same again in Baba Deno's house. It is a foregone conclusion that Baba Deno will receive the 'silent treatment' from his wife at best or will be scalded to death at worst. It is a fact we cannot ignore because Mama Deno is now sulking and there seems to be a dangerous red glare in her eyes.

Baba Brenda is not doing any better. This is because thanks to his intervention in the fight, we now know that he cannot stand with all his three legs, when it comes to bedroom matters. How Shallyn and Sherry knew that, we have no idea. The only thing we know is that Baba Brenda's self esteem has suffered a major blow from which it might never recover. His shoulders are suddenly stooping like those of a cow recovering from a bout of foot and mouth disease. To the crowd, Baba Brenda is no longer a man. We do not even know how to describe him because he has suddenly become a strange creature, who can neither be classified as a man nor a woman. It does not help matters that Mama Brenda is part of the crowd and she is possibly wondering how Shallyn and Sherry knew of her husbands little secret. She is possibly annoyed and in Baba Brenda's family, it is evident that things will never be the same again.

So, now the fight proceeds as people watch helplessly. The fight is majorly verbal, with a few and isolated punches which often miss the target, because they are delivered in the version of a poorly calculated projectile motion. The greater part of the fight is made up of bloody scratches on their faces and hair pulling, which ends up destroying the added weaves, revealing unkempt hair beneath. Our only hope to ending this fight now is to get an old grand mother to stand between them because in the African Society, you do not ignore the wishes of a grand mother, because the fear of curses still stands.

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