EDWIN KIPTANUI CHIRCHIR firstname.lastname@example.org email@example.com
You may think this is
important, that it will change your life and make you the next
multi-millionaire, that it will improve your relationship with your spouse,
that it will help you bring up an ideal boy child but no! It will do none of
these things. I actually want to waste your time with some meaningless banter
about my boys. You see, whenever I am alone and silent (of course I cannot be
alone and loud), I like to think while scratching my head, which is threatening
to lose hair anytime from now or scratching my scanty beard. One such thought
is about 'Boys and Dolls.'
You see (sorry for using
these words again) I do not know who gave my boys the above dolls. I am told
that they received them from some shy and giggling High School girls, who were
out to extend their hands of friendship to the boys and to buy their loyalty.
Too bad for them because should they ask me I would tell them that the only way
to buy the boys' loyalty is by assuring them of an endless supply of yoghurt
with an emphasis on vanilla flavour or getting them some proud looking toy
So, having received the dolls
and the High School girls having gotten their short lived loyalty and half
hearted, cautiously delivered hugs minus kisses, the boys seemed to have no
idea what to do with them and instead of calling them dolls, they
contemptuously referred to them as 'zile vitu' (those things). The ideal
situation should have been the dolls being pampered, breast fed using imaginary
breasts and covered with warm clothing but none of these happened.
Instead, the boys gave the dolls a rough treatment by turning them into
permanent and involuntary passengers in some make shift vehicles,
improvised from some plastic soda bottles.
When not being ignored with reckless abandon, the dolls would endure long hours
of being driven around the house and outside under the scorching sun with
no sympathy, empathy or compassion whatsoever. I mean, I thought they would at
least treat them like human beings, even though they are not human, hence hence
granting them a chance to learn how to have some semblance of tender feelings
towards fellow human beings, but I do not know, may be I am just being
irrational by rushing them into developing qualities the are not yet ready for.
You see (oops! there you go again), someone told me we should treat children as
children and not small adults. (please, clap for your self if you are still
reading this article at this point and if you manage to finish it, get yourself
a drink at your expense).
When the dolls are not traveling to nowhere in particular, they also endure
long periods of being squeezed on their bellies because the manufactures
in their wisdom, decided to put somethings on their flat and bare behinds which
produce funny sounds. These sounds would have otherwise been entertaining was
it not for the fact that the boys almost always choose to squeeze their bellies
when I am watching serious things like the endless but important squabbles
common in Kenyan news.
On the contrary, when the
boys' beautiful girlfriends (yes, they do have girlfriends in case you are
wondering) are around, the dolls are pampered by being washed and covered well,
sometimes being breastfed using unproductive breasts and being weaned. The
manner in which the girls treat the dolls is the extreme opposite of how the
boys treat them. The girls are too tender on the dolls and even reprimand the
boys when they mishandle them. It makes me wonder what would happen if child
care was entirely left to men, that is if all ladies left for Venus, leaving
their babies behind.
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